20 Oct The Tantric Practice Of Sacred Masturbation
Orgasms are important for your body, your mind, your energy, and your spirit.
If you are ashamed of orgasms or think they don’t matter, I want you to ask yourself why. Did someone shame you at an early age? Let’s let go of that and get empowered!
- The spiritual element:
Orgasms are important spiritually because they get you out of your head and into your body. Orgasms are often called “the little death” because at the moment of orgasm you lose your ego—or sense of how you normally see yourself isolated from the source.
- The mental element:
Orgasms are important mentally because they put you in a state of relaxation and letting go. Orgasms fill the body with ecstasy hormones like serotonin and dopamine and the love and bonding hormone, oxytocin. All these happy hormones are good for your brain and when approached as sacred sexuality, help you to think more positive thoughts about yourself and others and project confidence.
- The energetic element:
Orgasms are important energetically because the state of orgasm is also a state of very high energy—like an electricity that runs from your genitals through your spine and whole nervous system. This is what gives you that “orgasmic” glow all day. It comes from being charged energetically from the inside out with your sexual chi, which will make you vibrant and attractive and magnetize people and positive experiences to you.
If you have difficulty experiencing orgasms, don’t worry—you aren’t alone.
One-third of women have never experienced orgasm. I worked with a woman once who said she wasn’t “sure” if she had ever had an orgasm. I said, “Honey, if you’d had an orgasm, you would know it!” I taught her the same tantric secrets I am teaching you, and she had a breakthrough to her first orgasm at 36 years old. So, I want you to know everything is possible as we go on this journey together.
Many women have come to think of orgasms as not necessary, and I am not putting pressure on you to add one more thing to judge yourself about. Remember, the first key here is no judgment. Once you learn to relax, orgasms will become very natural to you. And even if you don’t experience an orgasm right away, you will start to feel more and more arousal, pleasure, and then energetic orgasms.
Sex is sacred. It’s crucial that we embrace all sides of ourselves to awaken to our highest potential. To that end, I’ll be teaching you the art of sacred masturbation.
Cultivating a healthy masturbation practice will help you have more energy, connect your sexuality to your mindfulness, understand your own body better so you can tell your partners how to please you, and remove old shame and negative energy that may be blocking you.
First, let go of shame. What attitudes around self-pleasure were you raised with? Were you taught it was healthy and natural or that it was something to be ashamed of?
Women have been taught to suppress and repress their sexual power for centuries. Many of those old, limiting beliefs are still negative tapes that run in our heads. For women, sexual shame often manifests as body shame, lack of confidence in and out of the bedroom, and insecurities. I will show you how to stop judging and own it!
Men also grow up with a lot of shame around their sexual desires and are taught that masturbation is something to be hidden. I work with many men now who have to undo many of the unhealthy attitudes about sexual desire impressed upon them that have led to porn addiction, erectile dysfunction, and an inability to allow themselves real intimacy in body, mind, and soul.
I worked with one couple in which the husband could not have sex with his wife after she had a baby because he had a deep Madonna/whore complex due to his culture and religion. He had to find the root of those limiting beliefs and accept that sex was sacred and not a “vulgar” or perverted activity.
Just as women have sexual healing to do, men need sexual healing around the limiting sexual beliefs that are impressed upon them from a very young age.
The action step to get rid of shame is to be aware of what triggers them and to stay committed to pushing your edges to expand and grow.
The ancient tantra milking technique:
This is an ancient tantric female secret—like doing a Kegel on his cock— that will give you more control over your pleasure and his.
But first you have to learn how to exercise these muscles on your own— like lifting weights. You have to build these muscles. After childbirth, it helps to tighten and tone your vagina and pelvic floor.
The milking technique is about more than just sex—it is an energy-cultivation practice that builds a fire in your second chakra and leads to energy orgasms that you can have any time of the day. Milking flips on a very important switch—your kundalini at the root lock. Once you open your sexual kundalini, it will always stay open and give you vitality, the fountain of youth, and deeper ecstasy. These are just a few of the benefits:
- Multiple, better orgasms
Practicing the milking technique directly engages the muscles that lead to multiple and stronger orgasms. The more control you have over these muscles, the more control you’ll have over your pleasure.
- Protecting vital organs during and after childbirth
The muscles engaged while milking hold your bladder, your uterus, and your bowels in place. I think we can all agree that these are organs we don’t want moving around too much. The milking technique will help maintain the placement of these vitals. This is the main reason this exercise is prescribed to women for the final stage of pregnancy and for the first weeks after giving birth.
Childbearing and birthing naturally rearrange a woman’s insides pretty significantly, to say nothing of their stresses on the vagina itself. A milking regimen will help everything get back to normal.
- Preventing urinary incontinence
The milking technique can effectively help urinary incontinence. If you keep your muscles in shape with this technique, you are less likely, as you get older, to experience this inconvenience. Unexpected circumstances like a sudden sneeze or laugh can activate urinary incontinence. Having well-toned vaginal muscles can prevent these issues from happening.
How to do it:
- Learn to squeeze the vaginal muscles in three sections until you feel pressure at the cervix—that’s like a magic ding when your kundalini get popped) and to hold that orgasmic energy.
- Visualize the energy as a snake climbing through your spine to the top of your head.
- Visualize the snake meeting her mate at your crown and both snakes returning to the bottom of your spine in union.
This opens all your chakras and gives you a bright glow and more energy all day than you ever imagined.
Here is a more specific set of exercises you can practice to strengthen your vaginal and pelvic floor muscles easily and quickly.
(Material below excerpted from Vaginal Strengthening Exercises for More Powerful Orgasms.)
Vaginal strengthening exercises:
Flex your PC muscles (vaginal and anal muscles) as if you are sucking your vagina and anus up into your body. Hold the flex as described, and then release and relax your muscles.
- Quick flex:
Flex your PC muscle as hard as you can, hold for 2 seconds, and then completely relax the muscle. That is one rep. Wait 1 second between reps.
- Slow flex:
Slowly flex your PC muscle as hard as you can, hold for 15 seconds, and then release slowly, completely relaxing the muscle. That is one rep. Wait 5 seconds between reps.
- Super flex:
Slowly flex your PC muscle as hard as you can, hold for as long as you can up to 60 seconds, and then release. That is one rep. Wait 30 seconds between reps.
- Push out:
This exercise will help you develop the ability to ejaculate and to expel the ejaculate from your body. In this exercise, you are going to push out slowly with your vaginal muscles as if you are trying to push an object out of your vagina, hold for 5 to 10 seconds, and then release slowly, completely relaxing the muscle. That is one rep. Wait 5 seconds between reps.
Daily vaginal strengthening exercise program:
- Quick Flex: 20 to 100 reps (add 10 reps per week) x 1 set. Add 1 set every 2 weeks. Work up to 4 sets daily.
- Slow Flex: 10 to 25 reps (add 3 reps per week) x 1 set. Add 1 set every 2 weeks. Work up to 4 sets daily.
- Super Flex: 1 to 10 reps (add 1 rep per week) x 1 set. Add 1 set every 2 weeks. Work up to 4 sets daily.
- Push Out: 10 to 25 reps (add 3 reps per week) x 1 set. Add 1 set every 2 weeks. Work up to 4 sets daily.